Best definition
Uptons are lovely people.
You are lovely, you are such an Upton.
upton: define #2
a small town in Massachusetts
Upton was voted “Most Boring Town” by the states Top 40 radio station Kiss 108
upton: define #3
Pulling out and shooting a massive load at a high velocity on a girls back. Distance must be from ass up to the shoulders. Must be done on a girl with a massive rack, which is a total waste of a massive rack.
Announcer 1: “Wow, Verlander really went Upton there. Her whole back is covered”

Announcer 2: “Yeah, that’s a real waste of her massive rack Bob.”

Announcer 1: “I think the catcher is going to walk out to the mound and have a little talk with Justin to settle him down”
upton: define #4
A person who lives wildy beyond their means, often in thousands of pounds of debt. Feels the need to spend money to make her appear interesting to others. Spends most of her time talking about her bodily functions.
I don’t want to hear about your credit cards any more goddammit!! And I have no interest in what part of your body is sweating today, now go away and leave me alone, you dirty stinking UPTON!
upton: define #5
Dirty filthy stinking grass
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