uptime

Best definition
uptime
The time during which a machine is operating or an employee is working.
16:05:24 up 74 days, 21:05, 1 user, load average: 0.03, 0.03, 0.02
uptime: define #2
uptime
Social status measurement used by hopeless geeks as an alternate indicator of penile length. Completely non-representative of actual work being accomplished by said computer. Most accurate indicator known of time between power outages.
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