Noob’s Opening

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Noob’s Opening
A chess opening using by noobs/newbs etc who think they know how to play the game, but actually lack the

fundemental understanding and intelligence necessary for chess. The opening consists of:1. e4 e5
2. Qh5 …At which poing if White is allowed to take the Black e5 pawn with the Q it is a very strong position for him, especially as it comes with Check. This is known as the Noob Opening position. However, Black simply plays:…Nc6to guard the pawn. The typical noob will then play:3. Bc4With a threat of check mate with Qxf7. However, Black then plays:…g6After which the noob will play:4. Qf3This is the Uber-Noob’s Opening position. After Black’s next move of:…Nf6White’s “attack” is over and Black has an enormous lead in development.So in summary, the noob believes he is going to get a fast check-mate with Qxf7, but any black player worth their while will quicky avoid this and gain an enormous lead in piece development and in most cases will force the White Q all the way back to its starting square: hence a complete waste of time.

The Noob’s Opening is typically played by gobby teenage chess players who will talk trash during the game to try and distract the other player.
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