noff crime

Best definition
noff crime
a surprising, unexpected event occuring to someone, where reason says that the person being acted upon would not enjoy the

outcome of such an unexpected event; on the contrary, the viewer is rewarded with the elated, welcoming reaction from the actee as the unexpected event unfolds. May be used outside of sexual contexts.


Bill: dude… i totally stuck it up her ass last night! and she liked it!! i thought she would hate me…

Ted: whoa… what a total noff crime.


:::Protagonist dictating joyously to the on-site Reporter:::

Protagonist: “I am entirely grateful to the city workers who broke that water mane that completely destroyed my backyard by flooding it! I would have never found out that Jimmy Hoffa was buried there! I’m currently in auction on eBay for the highest bidder for his casket! 43 MILLION DOLLARS, HERE I COME!!”

:::Reporter gives vain, hypocritical, empty smile to Protagonist:::

Reporter: … what a noff crime…

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