Times claimed by Microsoft products to complete tasks (installing products, copying files, etc). Swings both ways, can be greatly exaggerated
or massively optimistic.
A- “How long till your done with that OS install?”
B- “About 5 minutes”
A- “Is that Microsoft Minutes?”
A- “See you in an hour”
Microsoft Minutes: define #2
A unit of time whose literal length is constantly changing due to rapid miscalculations of a computer wielding an operating system developed by Microsoft (i.e. Windows 95).
“Say, Benny! How long is it gonna take for this program to install?”
“Well Garrison, it says here just 3 more Microsoft minutes. You never know with those Microsoft minutes, though. It could be another six hours… but if we’re lucky it’ll only last one!”
Microsoft Minutes: define #3
A unit of measure where the descriptive term is never the same value and always unknown.
1 = x:y:z
Where x = any number of minutes, y = any number of seconds, z = and number of milliseconds
A: Dude, this Olsen video I’m downloading is gonna be sweet!
B: Awesome man, how long has it got?
A: Ahhh it says 3 minutes to go…
B: Oh man, they’re Microsoft Minutes; you’ll be there for another hour at least!
Microsoft Minutes: define #4
1. any amount of time that is significantly longer than a minute.
2. a period of time that is longer than projected or promised.
3. any amount of time spent while staring at spinning circles, especially when something is expected to happen afterwards.
I waited in line at the DMV for what felt like a Microsoft minute.
Microsoft Minutes: define #5
A seemingly random period of time required for a (Microsoft) computer system to recognize changes made and begin working properly. This phrase is most commonly associated with Active Directory (Windows Server) applications.
“I just changed your password on the server, so in 15 Microsoft minutes you should be able to log on. If it still doesn’t work after 15 minutes wait another hour and it should work then.”
Microsoft Minutes: define #6
The actual time it takes to download or install data as opposed to the time estimation given in the progress-bar dialog that accompanies the process.
According to this dialog, it will only take two more minutes to install the program. (Five minutes later) The program has to update. Now it says it will take another ten minutes to finish installation. Those are not real minutes; those are Microsoft-minutes!
Microsoft Minutes: define #7
A unit of time ranging in value from one realtime minute to several hours.
“Time to complete installation of Windows XP 37 minutes.”
(24 minutes later)
“Time to complete installation of Windows XP 36 minutes. Did you know that Windows XP will speed up all your everyday computing tasks!”