Manchester, New Hampshire

Best definition
Manchester, New Hampshire
The largest “city” in New Hampshire. Manchester has an excess of pubs, Catholic churches (due to large French Canadian, Irish,

Italian, and Lebanese ancestry), obsolete old mills, and drugs. Much like nearby Nashua, Manchester was a prominent commercial center back in the day which has now become a ghetto. French is the town’s unofficial-official language due to illegal immigration from Quebec. Girls are ultra-trashy and most young men are known to have four kids with three different women. About one fourth of the Central graduating class goes to Manchester CC with another fourth going to Hesser and another going to the UNH Manchester campus. Cheap drugs such as ecstasy and meth are easily available on Hayward Street.Despite all of this, Manchester becomes the center of the world’s attention during the New Hampshire primaries. It isn’t unusual to be harassed by campaigners whilst walking down the sidewalk.

Manchester, New Hampshire = Boston’s ugly step-sister, Nashua’s barely prettier cousin
Manchester, New Hampshire: define #2
Manchester, New Hampshire
1. A former mill town on the Merrimack River that should have died after the fabled Amoskeag Mills, whose fabric ouput led to the city being dubbed “The “Cottonopolis of the World” in the first decades of the 20th Century, went bankrupt during the Great Depression, but somehow like a ghoulish vampire, the red-brick shithouse hangs on.

2. New England city, the largest north of Boston, that reportedly has more bars, gin mills, and licensed purveyors of strong waters, per capita, than any other city in the United States.

3. The “Queen City” of New Hampshire, which also ranks as the Marijuana Capital of New England, attracting buyers from all over, as the corrupt police force has a hand dealing and protection.

4. A cultural miasma famous for producing the McDonald’s brothers, purveyors of the worst food in the world; Grace Metalious, author of the world’s worst book “Peyton Place”; and Adam Sandler, the world’s worst actor.

“Manchester, New Hampshire would rank as the asshole of the universe,” Mr. Youch told his night class at the U.N.H. extension program, “but for one small detail.”

“Wassthat?” Perk Pekins asked. I wasn’t sure if Porky was leading Youch on or was just a world champion dumbass. I’d put my money on the latter.

“Wassthat?” Pekins asked again when Youch wasn’t immediately forthcoming.

“Lewistown, Maine,” the professor said in a stenorian tone.

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