other shoppers from getting by. May actually live in mall, possibly from another planet or parallel universe.
when referring to a mall people, you never use the singluar version of people. It’s always a mall people. You must always specify the entire population of mall people even when referring to just one. The reason this is done is because they’re all fucking losers, and I hate looking at them when I goto the mall to actually BUY something other than a fucking game of DDR.
Mall people generally dress in all black. The girls are typically on the chubby side, wear a phalanx of ‘bang’ bracelets, have hair that resembles clown puke, cake 43 pounds of make up on their faces, and run around giving everyone hugs.
Hugs are a mall people’s way of trying to fill the void of how worthless they are. Since they’re such pathetic social outcast losers, they needed a way to make themselves feel like they are worth a dick or piss.
Male mall people sometimes wear the ‘bang’ bracelets like the girls. Some of the guys paint their fingernails. Pants are a good way to identify mall people of both genders. Just look for black pants the size of circus tents, with dog leashes hanging off them. You can generally catch a mall people male playing DDR while the rest of the mall people population of the mall watches on.
Mall people can be either Emo or Gothic, or a poser. There are no other types. It is possible to combine the creeds.
One of mall people’s favorite mall activities include: blocking entrances, congregating in hot topic, playing ddr and watching it, giving hugs – a feeble attempt to be someting in life, taking pictures of each other doing stupid shit that isnt funny at all. When mall people couples are together, they generally seem to be somewhat fused together. rarely will you see a seperation. This is because they realize their never going to have sex with each other because hugs are their sex.
Lastly, mall people usually have stupid multi-angle myspace pics that you cant see their face too well, or you can’t see their body too well. A picture will also usually consist of a combination of any of the following: signs with words on them, mutated colors due to editing the pic, pictures of the mall people looking sad and depressed (this is done for attention). etc. I dont have to explain a mall people, everyone knows what their disease looks like.