Short, skinny little impish man who is given looks of disgust by every girl who simply crosses his path. Qualities of the Lord Patheticus include playing many hours of old Sega games, listening to talk shows on the radio, and listening to cheap Iranian music. Needless to say, Lord Patheticus is a virgin who at age twenty three (at the time of writing) still lives with his parents. Lord Patheticus has virtually zero capability to stand up for himself, although he dreams of someday taking over a small country in Africa to bind the population there to his will.
Lord Patheticus arrives at the mall. Instantly he is given many looks of disgust, and in return he holds his head in shame because he knows he is disgusting.