Llantrisant

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Llantrisant
The inspiration for ‘The Hills Have Eyes’. Located in South Wales, the population currently stands at 666, all of whom

enjoy rugby, alcoholism, trivialities and spontaneous violence. Famous inhabitants include Dr. William Price….exactly.

Man #1 – “Hey let’s go to Llantrisant”

Man #2 – “No”

Man #1 – “But it might…..”

Man #2 – “No”
Llantrisant: define #2
Llantrisant
Llantrisant is a town. A borderline-Valleys town in South Wales roughly around 4 miles from outer Cardiff. If you’re driving along the M4 and smell weed, depression, and single mums, then eureka! You’re near it. Has a population of around 15,000 people, so it’s smaller than big daddy Pontypridd. Known for poundland, the royal mint, being a retail hotspot and having some historical landmarks in the old section of town. They also have this event every 7 years known as ”the beating of the bounds”, where at least 5,000+ people decide to cram themselves into a sweaty clusterfuck on the summer streets and follow this 7 mile trail that most people give up on halfway and and just go to McDonalds/get blotto.

A good town for shopping (compared to the rest of the Valleys) if you’re willing to subject yourself to 12 year olds in tracksuits with scooters blasting Gucci Gang in a car park with a bottle of WKD while the average dying 78 year old woman wheels herself into a pharmacy to pick up her opiates wondering what the fuck went wrong with the world.

From the famous Dr. William Price statue to the pissy flats of Talbot Green and the post-apocalyptic mattress and syringe ridden bike path, you’ll have a blast in Llantrisant – a town of contrast, indeed.

Nearby towns include Pontyclun, Tonypandy, Pontypridd and of course Cardiff.

Girl #1 – “I TOTES wanna go to Starbucks in Llantrisant today, I’m craving a frappe”

Other person – ”Fuck that, let’s just go to Cardiff instead”
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